Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
