i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
