Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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