i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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