just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
