He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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