Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
