Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
