So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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