Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
