ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
