I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
