Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Who died my cat blue again?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
