I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
