I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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