Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
