i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
