you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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