Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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