Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
