It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
