Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
