I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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