shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
