Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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