I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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