just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My liver is preforming stress tests.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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