I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
