Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
