It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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