a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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