Define "chronic" masturbator.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
