how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
