Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
