Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
