When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
