Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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