I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
