I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
