Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
