Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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