We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
