you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
