I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
