She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
