elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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