'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
