I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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