if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
