he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
