fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
