it hurts more in the daytime
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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