My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
