Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
