wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
