It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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