so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She bit a glass in half.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
