All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
