i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Its about making memories worth repressing
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
