Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just found puke in my bra..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize