her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
