SEEEEXXX PLEASE
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
