Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
